If you really feel the way I feel

Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don’t confuse them with mountains


God, I’ve got so  much to write (and who cares if nobody ever reads as is usual on self help forums) However I am put off by everytime I press a button on WordPress it seems to take 10 seconds to actually load the next page (and its only wordpress even though my Sky broadband is terrible!)

Anyway on to my SA(SOCIAL ANXIETY!)issue of the day. It dont matter if you are male, female, a wombat living in the suburbs of Melbourne. if you are with a partner you love(or even like maybe), or close family or anyone then YOU HAVE NOT GOT IT AS BAD AS SOMEONE WHO IS TOTALLY ALONE. Got that? I hope so. Lots of people in relationships and with families still have SA. They live with theIr partner. They get on well,they have someone to talk to, go places with,go on holiday with,support them,etc!

If you think your SA and stress is bad now then try living in a world where the only person you physically talk to for weeks at a time is the supermarket checkout person when you say “Thanks.” When you go on long walks alone and even start talking to yourself, where you have never been on holiday, never go anywhere with anyone. Have never kissed, touched, cuddled or even been on a date in your life let alone had sex.  When at my age the chances of this now changing are something approaching aliens landing in the middle of the world cup final and Brian Blessed emerging claiming to be their leader.

No sorry, people in good relationships, people with kids, people with a loving family to talk to every day,even if you have close friends or good work colleagues.Its not the same. You may still have SA and of course everyone is different but life is much much harder if you are  totally alone and have no support at all!

This is patently obvious from the fact that people who are isolated are much more likely to commit suicide and have other health problems as well. There is also some research  that lone men are much more prone to these other problems that women but gender issues really get people upset on anxiety forums in a world obsessed with supposed equality.




Starting Again

Unfortunately I put all my posts in trash as I did not want someone to find them. I stupidly thought they would be stored there safely and I would be able to access them again later. Of course the internet and individual forums all live in their own particular world with their own rules and every single post was deleted for good. Even though the blog was a complete mess just like the state of my mind most days I still have a desire to put some of these emotions down in words so I may use them again when I feel better,if I ever do of course.

There are just so many aspects of SA and human behavior that I find quite undeniable and yet are hardly ever mentioned on SA forums. If I do there are often argumentative replies that are utter tosh and yet the people on there seem to have a vastly inflated view of their own intelligence. This appears to be quite common for people with supposedly low self esteem on anxiety forums. Of course it may just be the inner rage, anger and frustration which they have for their own lives which they then unleash upon any person on a forum who has a differing view or gets in their way.