Do you think it helps to be delusional if you are anxious? I may have written this before but I don’t remember and neither will anyone else so here goes again. I once heard someone say that if the ugliest man in the world thinks he’s gorgeous and therefore tries to chat up every girl he meets then at least he’s got a decent chance of getting someone eventually whereas if he knows he’s the ugliest man in the world he will never even try and will die a sad lonely virgin. That’s a bit like having SA. You are constantly told to try stuff and do stuff and not give up yet the combined sum of my life experiences tells me that when I act anxious I fail horrendously, people treat me like filth and I go home and punch myself in the head in the toilet. Therefore my confidence has remained low and I find it hard to even try anymore. If I had of known regular success in my past then of course my confidence would have grown and I would probably me a project manager in I.T. somewhere now just like my best friend from school who didn’t quit college like I did after 2 days.
It helps to be confident at a job interview and apparently to impress the opposite sex. I have heard these things again and again as confidence is so attractive to future employers and future partners. Therefore in order to get this confidence perhaps you can be brainwashed if you can’t get it by success. You have to ignore how cruel, selfish and judgemental so many people were in the past and all those horrendous memories have to be blocked from the mind. Perhaps it’s a good thing to pretend you are wonderful at everything in order to appear confident and succeed almost like you are playing the part of a favourite actor every time you leave the house. Perhaps many people who appear outwardly confident have been doing this for years and are really one step away from being a nervous wreck.