I went out walking every other day this week. It helps to lesson feelings of depression and anxiety. I can usually cope mentally until about 1PM but lonely boring afternoons depress the crap out of me. This goes all the way back to early childhood when I never had friends or anywhere to go at weekends or during school holidays and the atmosphere of home was often depressing and not good or happy. The downside is that I ache quite a bit the next day especially with my dodgy right hip problems. I went on an early outing last Saturday to the Peak District which is a national park. It was quite good although getting two trains and a bus there and back was a pain in the ass and being a weekend meant that it was crowded too so not much solitude. On Monday I went to the local wood and country park and nearly got chased by a stag. Wednesday the Botonic gardens and yesterday a walk up the canal. Another downside is that I often get paranoid when out alone and everyone else is in couples or groups which is why I crave isolation.
One of the problems of never learning to drive is that I am always dependent on public transport which is often expensive and unreliable. It also means that its pretty much impossible to get out of the midlands and back within a day so new places become much harder to visit and I have been to most nearby places of interest by now anyway. It also increases my anxiety as one of my biggest fears is being stuck in the back of beyond because the train has been cancelled.Of course I have never been abroad. Having socially anxious parents meant that they were as bad as me and we never went out much at all when I was young although we did have a weekly holiday near Skegness for a few years in my teens. If I ever need to use a passport or driving license for ID purposes to use the NHS as recently reported then I’m f**cked and it actually really annoys me that so many people just assume that EVERYONE has been abroad or drives or even has a mobile phone which I dont have either.