I have been looking at self help videos and forums again. I found this person known as the shyness and social anxiety guy who has his own website and youtube channel. I must say a lot of his stuff is exactly how I have found SA to be for me. Even this video which shows obvious differences in gender which I would never be allowed to post on an SA forum as people on these forums pretend men and women are equal in behavior and ignore all evidence to the contrary. I do think shy women are more likely to get into a relationship in the first place but may not be any happier in the long run as many shy women may go out with the first male that asks them out through desperation and he could be a complete asshole so they end up just as unhappy or even more so than if they were single. He’s certainly correct in the fact that women almost never ask a man out or usually even talk to him first. its so obvious I am always amazed people even dispute it.
Even working in an office environment it was obvious to me that most of the females did not initiate conversation and seemed wary of quiet or shy men as if it was always the males job to speak and be friendly to them first. Of course when she gets to know him she speaks as much if not more as women are usually more social but its all about gaining trust. I think it comes from evolution where women had to be able to trust a man as men are much more dangerous and many only wanted sex and would not stick around. As a result a man is usually expected to approach and make conversation, often humorous which is pretty hard when as nervous as hell due to anxiety. He has to befriend her first. Our entire culture is based upon men approaching,chatting up and asking women out, almost never the other way round so a chronically shy man is much more likely to die a virgin.
I am going through his other videos although I am not sure yet if he’s legit. After all he is trying to sell his SA recovery book for quite a lot of money. If he really has recovered from SA and genuinely wants to help other sufferers then surely he would either sell his book for a normal book price or even give his information available for free on the net. In fact he claims to have a water bottle trick to cure the root cause of social anxiety and after watching a promo for his system and book for about 45 minutes he never mentions this apparent trick at all.
There’s no hope for me though. He even says thats its much harder the older you are and at my age praying to Jesus is more likely to help me. I have lots of other problems too.