I went out this Sunday morning as I was going to an event in the city(alone of course!) As I walked around I noticed just how many people were sitting outside drinking at the various coffee houses and speaking with friends and family or just reading the sunday papers. I felt a pang of jealousy. It looked a nice thing to do on a sunny summers morning.I’d like to be able to do that but I know no one in this city and hate going to such places alone as I feel awkward and weird. They advise you to join various meetup groups but I have such misery inside of me. What the hell do I speak about? I have numerous problems and am not normal. I have no job and have never had a relationship and seldom do anything of interest. Unless someone wants to speak to be about the state of English cricket and chances of winning back the Ashes I am stumped!
Despite a large number of interests such as history, photography and nature when normal people meet their friends they usually speak about family and what they are up to like social events which of course always leaves me wanting. If meeting someone for the first time and asked to tell them something about myself I feel like either crying or running(not good!) I know this is negative but I think this way because I have little experience of success. I expect such things to go wrong because they nearly always have. You dont just gain confidence because someone online tells you to learn to love yourself.