Why is light given to those in misery?

My moods can go downhill so fast it’s like being hit with a hammer. I had felt better and more positive in the last two weeks even though I have spoken to no one and done nothing interesting in this time. I had tried to be at least more positive online and had replied to a couple of people. On Friday I began to feel much worse. Last night I had some quite depressing dreams and woke thinking someone was poking me in the arm but it was in fact a nervous twitch on the inside of my right elbow. When I have been highly stressed before I had gotten twitches on my eyelid and above my knee. It seems even if I try to suppress my feelings of dread and fear during the day they are unleashed during my sleep and so there is no escape. Today even shopping became hard again and my anxiety increased to such extent that I was edgy and unable to do anything without endlessly watching the clock again. I can’t even imagine posting online as I dont know if people are being sarcastic bastards or that I am just paranoid. Its as if someone just pushes a button and I go mad again. My insanity is now way more than just shyness even if that was the start.

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Author: klodo

I am male,English and have had social anxiety since I started school at 5 years of age. I like photography, walking, wildlife, history and moaning.........CONSTANTLY! Oh you must stop being so negative! Shut up!

2 thoughts on “Why is light given to those in misery?”

  1. Shopping is one of the chores I most dread. Infact I must be a rare breed, a girl who hates shopping!

    I get so panicky and anxious in shops that I start to sweat and get shaky hands.
    Then I think that this makes me look suspicious (like I’m a theif), which makes the matter worse as I stress even more.
    9 times out of 10, I just abandon my trolley and go home.
    Don’t stop blogging, it can be a very good way to relieve problems. The bloggers I have met so far, have been very supportive. Please don’t get paranoid, as it’s very hard to shake off. xx

  2. Thanks, yes it makes me feel better to write my feelings all down even if I sometimes forget other people are able to read it. I find it very hard to use an online anxiety forum or get on with people there. its like I am intruding on a secretive club and I have never found them particularly friendly or helpful to me. I wish i could stop the paranoia, its as if I just wake up some days and my mood is darker. Good luck with your future shopping!

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