A week off from being mental

So I just come back after staying with my friend for a week. I felt so much better and had no anxiety and felt happy and calm all week and as you know if you read some of my previous posts I was about as low as I could be before I went. Is that how you cure SA? Just find people to be with that you like and like you back? I say just but to anyone with chronic anxiety it’s about as hard as finding the holy grail. Of course you also have to find a job you are comfortable in as well and many other factors like your family life and where you live come into play.

I saw some of that TV show First Dates on Gogglebox last week. There was a very shy anxious guy trying to date a normal girl. What interested me were the reactions of the gogglebox viewers. They cringed in unison. Some felt sorry for him and some even mocked him but they all felt deeply uncomfortable watching him trying to talk to this girl while blushing and stammering over almost every sentence.  I can just imagine the reactions and comments of many ignorant people at home.The girl rejected him of course but what bravery the man had for doing this in the first place and on camera too. This is what chronic anxiety was like for me when trying to talk to attractive girls at work. In fact i would say i was worse than him as it least he had a go and still managed to find things to talk about whereas I would virtually freeze up entirely. it’s a good job he spoke as the girl appeared to stop talking to him altogether making the awkwardness even greater but perhaps by then she was desperate to get it over with or perhaps she was just one of those girls that expects the man to woo her and lead the conversation with witty banter. Either way she was disappointed.

Of course it once again just shows the ridiculous advice of just trying to guilt trip very shy people to get out there and try to do things more as if all their fears are just unfounded and silly. Doing something like this when I was his age would have probably traumatised me so much I may well have felt suicidal. I still cringe thinking back to my youth and the humiliation I endured as i forced myself to do stuff because it was supposed to help me.

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Author: klodo

I am male,English and have had social anxiety since I started school at 5 years of age. I like photography, walking, wildlife, history and moaning.........CONSTANTLY! Oh you must stop being so negative! Shut up!

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