Around and around in circles

Knowing that nobody wants to be with you and that they never have means you almost certainly have no confidence. It happened at school; it happened at work, it still happens online. I don’t know why people with advice just don’t get this and still offer the useless help of “Just be Yourself!”. What and keep getting disliked and ignored? Many people with anxiety and other mental problems may be nice, kind, intelligent and funny but their past experience of normal people is that if you act weird then they dislike you and don’t want to see you again. Its not rocket science and yet advice after advice pretends its just paranoia , it’s all in our heads, we are just cowards for being avoidant and even if things go very wrong its our duty to keep doing it again and again until we get it right. The idea is that you learn what you are doing wrong and change this behaviour to get better.  In the case of social anxiety we are acting very nervous.  Depression is a little harder as I don’t know how to be jovial or come up with witty banter with strangers when I have felt like killing myself regularly for years and often sit alone weeping.

So they say I have to keep going out to social occasions and acting very nervous in the belief, maybe hope that I stop acting nervous and start to enjoy social interaction simply because I get used to it. And yet all experience of being alive tells me that when I try to interact I act nervous, awkward, maybe even weird and creepy to some women and that this makes people dislike me which means I act even more nervous and get even more paranoid and then even more avoidant. Then people avoid me like the plague which makes my confidence and avoidance even worse. If you just keep doing things that make you worse then it’s not helping. Yet almost all advice just tells you to keep doing things like its going to help. I don’t understand. Are they all mad, delusional or something else?


2 thoughts on “Around and around in circles

  1. middleagedmiddlewest October 17, 2015 / 3:04 am

    Are people really avoiding you?

    • klodo October 17, 2015 / 11:17 am

      Yes, yes they are

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