Depressed yet? You will be.

Ten reasons why social anxiety often leads to depression

  1. Wanting to find a significant other, and never finding him/her.Anxiety undermines our human relationships, and prevents them from being as successful as they could be.
  1. Avoiding situations even when we want to hang out and be friendly”.I can’t go because I’ll be too uncomfortable and I’ll feel inhibited and self-conscious.  It’s easier for me to just stay at home.”
  1. Not feeling like we are part of a group or family.We all want to feel like we belong, especially with other people who share the same interests in life, but anxious feelings block this from happening.
  1. Lack of meaningful friendships.People with social anxiety want to have many friends and acquaintances they can spend time with and relax around, but the anxiety prevents this from happening.
  1. Not being able to pursue our desired career“I’d like to take that promotion, but then I’d have to manage people and tell them what to do.  I can’t do that!”
  1. Inability to participate in professional or informal activities. Those of us with social anxiety feel a great deal of fear when we must attend informal or professional events with other people.  We feel as if we will do something wrong and make a fool of ourselves.
  1. Not seeing light at the end of the tunnel“I’ll never get any better – I’ll be stuck with anxiety forever.”
  1. Beating ourselves up We get down on ourselves and focus on our perceived shortcomings.  We often feel as if we’re not as good or capable as other people.  “Everyone else is enjoying life and having a good time.  Why can’t I?”
  1. Comparing ourselves to others We feel other people are farther along in life than we are.  “Everyone has fun and interesting friends they can hang out with – except me.”
  1. Feeling like we can’t do things.The anxiety we feel makes us feel restricted from participating in everyday activities.  “I can’t go to the party because I’ll feel too out of place and uncomfortable.”

Yes I have certainly gone through all the items on this list 43 million times each(at least!). One aspect that’s never mentioned ever though is that when you force yourself to go to social events and still act shy, nervous and anxious then people think you are strange or sometimes if they are female and you a man then a creepy weirdo and dont want to see you again. If all the things mentioned above make you depressed then you may also be a miserable bastard wallowing in self pity and a hideous carbuncle of self hate and paranoia  and then of course people dont want to hang out with you as you make them feel even worse. If you are a very anxious and a depressed person then you may as well get a dog/cat/hamster as nobody will want to be with you ever and you may as well at least have something soft and warm to cuddle on the cold winter nights.  Most of the symptoms of chronic anxiety really need to be cured before relationships/friendships can be made IN THE FIRST PLACE  for  REALLY shy people like I was and yet much of the advice advocates going to social events with no other prior help whatsoever as if this will cure you when they often have had the opposite effect for me and made me far more anxious. This is just like being dropped into the ocean and assuming you will learn to swim with no prior swimming lessons and you have never even had a bath before.Why do people assume meeting complete strangers in social events will cure you or chronic anxiety when in reality they, as in all people(YES, ALL of THEM!) are so judgmental they will probably laugh at you for being so mental and weird? Why God(or Jesus, I’am not picky!) WHY?


Author: klodo

I am male,English and have had social anxiety since I started school at 5 years of age. I like photography, walking, wildlife, history and moaning.........CONSTANTLY! Oh you must stop being so negative! Shut up! NOW WITH ADDED DEPRESSION!

4 thoughts on “Depressed yet? You will be.”

    1. Yes, I was afraid it was. I am beginning to think that all positive people are just delusional in a brainwashing type way. It’s just like being a Christian and believing in miracles.

  1. I agree with you that you cannot jump right into social event and expect to somehow make it if you’re a social phobic. But unless you change your ways of avoiding all social interactions, you will never get better! The solution is to start really slowly and in safe settings, gradually exposing yourself to more and more challenging situations.
    And I know it can work, because it worked for me! I had been social phobic for so long that I even genuinely thought I was UNABLE to smile properly… But then I did cbt, followed with some couragous life decisions and completely changed my life in less than 3 years. It’s been amazing for me and I’m 100% sure that if I could do it, anybody can

  2. I’m not sure.CBT does not work for many people as it assumes enthusiasm and the desire to do anything to change and also no depression wheresoever. The idea that so many people who did well are simply courageous and brave and then that those that didn’t are cowards who deserve to suffer is absolute shite. if anything the people who are are driven and motivated often become nasty and aggressive in order to overcome their fears and try to bully all those that dont.I did not avoid all social situations over all these years either and often there are no easy things to start with. For me speaking to a cashier about the weather is like asking me to ask out Angelina Jolie. It’s also true that most of the many things i did had no positive effects in the long run. I think it’s common in CBT world to claim that any failures are simply due to lack of effort/cowardice rather than everyone is different and lots of exposure therapy does not work for everyone. My most common experience is that if you act very shy in the first place then people treat you like a loser,freak weirdo and never want to see you again. Yet the first step to overcoming SA is supposedly to meet strangers and assume you will do great if you just keep doing it.

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