Getting Weaker

I am finding it increasingly hard to be positive in any way. All my problems are hanging over me like a group of vultures waiting to descend on my weakened body like the angels of death.

Being happy and having a good sense of humour are the best methods of attracting and befriending other people. Of course the trouble is that after years of mental health problems, depression and isolation there is very little optimism or humour left in me. So the loneliest and saddest people get even lonelier. The weak get weaker. Society keeps them at a distance and does not let them in if they be faulty. Human behaviour through millions of years of evolution is just as big a barrier as is the individual’s mental state.Their only hope is to pull themselves out of the mire by chance and pretend to be happy and the same as everyone else in order to be liked and accepted by everyone else. I can’t be bothered to pretend any more.

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15 thoughts on “Getting Weaker

  1. You can learn to pretend– it’s like acting, you forget yourself and play a character–I think it’s harder though for people who have sad things on their mind, for sure. When it works though it feels great for me to forget myself and my sadness for a moment.

  2. Yes, I used to pretend to be an actor I liked sometimes when i was younger. I have tried to pretend I was happier and had no problems but it didn’t work for long. It’s amazing how important a good sense of humour is to other people. It almost validates you as a potential friend/partner/human being whereas miserable people are classified as losers and ignored.

  3. It’s true. I think it’s because we are all afraid of sadness, maybe particularly in this culture although I am not world travelled enough to speak from experience. But even for myself I know that I am afraid of my sadness and that the fear of it, trying to pretend it away, is always more awful than when I simply accept that sadness IS just like some days are simply gray and rainy (and some places are gray and rainy more frequently). BTW: I love gray and rainy days.

    • You would love autumn in England as the sun only comes out for about 4 hours per week! I like to try and think scientifically when it comes to human behavior. I think we evolved to avoid miserable people as they are more likely have something wrong with them just as ugly or deformed people were always treated badly and shunned. I should really get the Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins as I think all humans are selfish at heart and even perhaps all life. Survival of the fittest and all that.

      • I’ve thought that, think that. But then I think maybe it’s to our evolutionary advantage to have the capacity to connect to others, to be able to make use of the sadness in ourselves and others. Dunno. It is a tall order…

      • I think we all evolved in small family groups who were also related so learnt to only care about our own which is why humans are so tribal. If someone was sad in our group we cared as it was relative to us and our well being too. Outside of our group we dont have any connection and so are not so bothered. There are lots of theories on human behavior and evolution though.

      • I agree with you. But then I know I am so moved when the tribal family groups are able to extend their boundaries to others– like now, how at least ideally, the world is extending its sympathies and identities out to the countries that have been attacked. Anyhow, sorry to keep carrying on! This whole topic is something I spend a lot of time bouncing back and forth on.

  4. As a person who’s suffered with shyness my whole life (and still do), I have just recently begun to accept myself and no longer hide my “weaker” side. That was actually the whole reason why I started my blog, Love thyself – to encourage others to accept and love themselves in all aspects, and not be afraid of pursuing life. I guess I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this and it feels nice to have found someone who understands the struggle because for the majority of my life I’ve been surrounded by very outgoing people who have just told me to “shake it off” and continuously nag me about never talking to anyone. I just wish more people would understand how debilitating it can be..

    • Hi, thanks for your reply roses. I was only remembering the other day that someone I worked with had said I was just making excuses when I had in fact struggled to get through each day without taking time out to hide in the toilets! People simply dont understand unless they have been through it themselves and yet when he had problems with his marriage he had been so depressed he had been told to go home and rest as he just stared at the walls all day. I have struggled to learn to love or even like myself though as I have probably blogged about. I have tried to get to the stage of feeling inner peace and calm instead and getting rid of any anger towards situations in my past and hoping that helps. I’d like to learn to meditate. Spiritual things interest me greatly and I think they can help our moods and outlook on life.

      • Hmm meditation would be interesting to try! I have actually been looking at attending a mindfulness workshop as well. Well lets see how it goes! Stay in touch 🙂

  5. oops, just posted my comment on the wrong post :/
    i meant to post on one of your others posts… don’t know how i messed that up. But you get my point 🙂

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