And the bells are ringing Out for Christmas day

cupxyikukaa6p5_

I feel far more apprehensive than usual about Christmas day this year. It’s like this one day a year magnifies every feeling of being a paranoid lonely failure into one excruciatingly depressing period of time.I don’t particularly feel like going to the cemetery again as I have done the previous two years after my mother’s death although the only alternative which is to stay in and watch even more TV is already starting to make me feel quite down, almost physically sick. At least there are quite a lot of people at the cemetery and they are all sad anyway so I fit in well. Perhaps I should live there or become a grave digger. Walking anywhere on Christmas day in a city is depressing and also makes me feel far more self conscious as there are so few people about especially alone. I can see why so many people get depressed at this time of year. My only plan is to start drinking from about 3PM and hope to forget everything else.Again

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “And the bells are ringing Out for Christmas day

  1. Klodo, my heart goes out to you. I wish I knew what to say that would help. The pug is very cute and grumpy. I’m sorry about your mum having passed and also about how cold and unfeeling people can be. Merry Christmas to you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s