I cant be bothered to think of a title

My only online friend regularly goes offline for days at a time so I get quite lonely. I keep trying various self help sites but as previously mentioned they are all useless as I am too mental to communicate or say things that normal people say or want to hear. I have not used elefriends for 10 days as quite honestly any post goes off page one within half an hour and is then forgotten about.  I got an email giving advice which was;

“We understand that it can be difficult at first and many  have said this who are now regular visitors to the site. We would encourage you to interact with other elefriends on their wall posts and write to any who you think it may be useful for you to talk to you and share experiences with. It may take little while to settle in but do let us know how you get on.”

No its not difficult at first, it stays that way for life or gets worse just like on SAUK. The site you go to when you want to feel hated. I can see no one to write to and have no connection or common interests with anyone. They might as well say “just go talk to her!” like they did at work and assume witty banter just happens. If I do try I will feel like a creepy perv if I contact a female as my paranoia tells me that every female on self help forums thinks that every male who contacts them is after sex and nothing else. I will only get ignored or when they find out I am unemployed get ignored as happened on all other sites.

Am I being too negative?  Yes of course I am! Being a long term unemployed loner who has never had a relationship tends to do that to your brain. So do I now pretend to be positive to attract people when its all really just a lie. Just be yourself they say. Liars!  I have never wanted to die more than this last week. I wish it was easier.

 

 

 

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Author: klodo

I am male,English and have had social anxiety since I started school at 5 years of age. I like photography, walking, wildlife, history and moaning.........CONSTANTLY! Oh you must stop being so negative! Shut up!

2 thoughts on “I cant be bothered to think of a title”

  1. I need to write to you, but I don’t know what to say. I have felt in a similar way to you, but not as extreme. My heart goes out to you and my hope is that things begin to change…someway…somehow. You posts always remind me that no-one has the answers to anothers challenges. Keep writing and stick with life, change is possible, don’t know how but it is. ()

    1. Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately things have been getting steadily worse for years now with little hope of change. As mentioned before I think praying to God and hoping for a miracle is my only hope now. People always talk about getting help but I think its all a lie.

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