I have found it very frustrating to look up ways of coping for depression. Just as for anxiety much of it seems totally irrelevant or to be written by somebody who has never had it.
- For depression they tell you to meet people talk to people and be with people. Oops I am a weird loner and know virtually no one due to lifelong social anxiety which is the main cause of all my depression in the first place.When I sometimes tried to befriend someone at work I was often turned down as the other person didn’t like me as I was socially awkward, weird, not normal. I found this deeply humiliating which massively increased my avoidance.
- Next is exercise. Yes I’ve done that. I used to walk 3-5 hours for 3 days a week and 1-2 hours on the other days, almost every week of every month for about 10 years. Did it help? Sometimes but no more than for a couple of hours afterwards and the problems are always still there at the end so the depression returns relentlessly. I also live in a city so hate walking in the city as there are no nice walks and lots of potentially nasty people. I am way more lethargic now too and ache quite a bit. Could be due to suspected diabetes but also to having a chronic hip condition for 20 years and other joint problems which all doctors failed to diagnose properly or treat.
- Food? Yes I am eating healthier and have tried to cut down on sugar intake. However, I still drink almost every evening and consume about 23-30 units of alcohol per week. When I drink nothing I just get far more anxious and feel desperate, cant concentrate and think about suicide.
- Better Sleep? I had chronic insomnia and sleep problems going back 20 years due to any noise so as mentioned I use ear plugs and ear protectors and even sleeping tablets I bought off Amazon that they don’t even sell in the UK I have daily bad dreams about death, my late dying mother or my last workplace when things went wrong but I sometimes still feel good when I wake up. Then almost every day I get worse as the day goes on. However, I often have to pee many times a night and drink 2-3 pints of water which is why I think I have diabetes. However all insomnia advice ignores where you live and that you cant move unless you win the lottery so the advice is limited.
- Occupy the mind. During the day keeping busy can help for short periods by doing housework and gardening but as usual it doesn’t last long. And apart from medication there is nothing else. I think I am depressed because my life is so f**ked up. How do I cure that at my age? Oh yes, get out more and meet new people. The trouble is I am negative and depressed so no one would want to know me anyway.
I also find it quite contradictory that I have read recently not to be so hard on yourself and at the same time for anxiety reading everything is your own fault for not trying enough, doing enough and not taking personal responsibility so trying t make you feel guilty.Confusing, isn’t it?