I have found it very frustrating to look up ways of coping for depression. Just as for anxiety much of it seems totally irrelevant or to be written by somebody who has never had it.
- For depression they tell you to meet people talk to people and be with people. Oops I am a weird loner and know virtually no one due to lifelong social anxiety which is the main cause of all my depression in the first place.When I sometimes tried to befriend someone at work I was often turned down as the other person didn’t like me as I was socially awkward, weird, not normal. I found this deeply humiliating which massively increased my avoidance.
- Next is exercise. Yes I’ve done that. I used to walk 3-5 hours for 3 days a week and 1-2 hours on the other days, almost every week of every month for about 10 years. Did it help? Sometimes but no more than for a couple of hours afterwards and the problems are always still there at the end so the depression returns relentlessly. I also live in a city so hate walking in the city as there are no nice walks and lots of potentially nasty people. I am way more lethargic now too and ache quite a bit. Could be due to suspected diabetes but also to having a chronic hip condition for 20 years and other joint problems which all doctors failed to diagnose properly or treat.
- Food? Yes I am eating healthier and have tried to cut down on sugar intake. However, I still drink almost every evening and consume about 23-30 units of alcohol per week. When I drink nothing I just get far more anxious and feel desperate, cant concentrate and think about suicide.
- Better Sleep? I had chronic insomnia and sleep problems going back 20 years due to any noise so as mentioned I use ear plugs and ear protectors and even sleeping tablets I bought off Amazon that they don’t even sell in the UK I have daily bad dreams about death, my late dying mother or my last workplace when things went wrong but I sometimes still feel good when I wake up. Then almost every day I get worse as the day goes on. However, I often have to pee many times a night and drink 2-3 pints of water which is why I think I have diabetes. However all insomnia advice ignores where you live and that you cant move unless you win the lottery so the advice is limited.
- Occupy the mind. During the day keeping busy can help for short periods by doing housework and gardening but as usual it doesn’t last long. And apart from medication there is nothing else. I think I am depressed because my life is so f**ked up. How do I cure that at my age? Oh yes, get out more and meet new people. The trouble is I am negative and depressed so no one would want to know me anyway.
I also find it quite contradictory that I have read recently not to be so hard on yourself and at the same time for anxiety reading everything is your own fault for not trying enough, doing enough and not taking personal responsibility so trying t make you feel guilty.Confusing, isn’t it?
Death by Shyness 
I know exactly how you feel. I ponder if the world just got used to the idea that some people just aren’t as happy as others, we would feel more comfortable with our depression and anxiety, perhaps using it for more productive things like good story-telling. The world seems to treat negativity of any sort like it’s going to destroy everything. They equate not being happy with hurting others when, in fact, a lot of stress comes from trying to be positive when you just don’t feel like it! I say embrace it — to a point. I mean, you can learn a lot from a grumpy old man 🙂
I’ve asked a friend what helped her got through her depression and she said that it’s time and a support system. Of course, everyone has different needs, but I guess there has to be at least a foundation to work from…Which not everyone has. I suppose those self-help and advice probably comes off as trivializing someone’s struggles.
I think social anxiety and depression together are particularly bad as you dont have much if any support from friends or family. Listening to the radio a while back even some doctor tried to make out exercise by just having regular walks is better for depression than meds. Lots of walks I go on make me feel worse. Everyone who advises walking for health seems to think we all live in the middle of the most beautiful countryside when most people live in cities and walking in the city on exactly the same routes every day is absolutely boring as hell. Where I live I see gangs of young men every time I leave the house and wonder if I am going to get attacked again.
I agree, during bad days, walking outside is like self-inducing an anxiety attack. I live in a crowded city too and public transportations are the absolute worst! What I do noticed is that my anxiety is considerably lower in the morning and after work when I’m sleepy/tired, so it helped some when I’m on the train to work. How about you? Personally, what do you think may help with your anxiety/depression? Stuff that maybe you have tested before and yielded some results, if there were any?
I think having a routine and keeping busy tends to help. On the odd day trip out taking pictures I have felt much better in the evening but its hard to do that often as the weather is not that good and my body seems to take longer to recover so one good walk a week is about the best I can do nowadays. I find it very hard to relax enough to even get into the mindset of meditation or mindfulness or any thing like that. its almost like my brain goes off uncontrollably into a negative phase after a few days regardless.
I gotta admit that I haven’t been practising mindfulness as my instructor had told us to, much as I believe in its results. I guess I just don’t have the self-discipline. I find that psychotherapy has been extremely helpful if I have specific questions to ask my therapist on my recovery process, and since he is a great case study of a successful recovery, I get a lot of motivation to learn from him. I don’t think negative phases can be helped for anyone with mental disorders, especially when one is without a support network or a structured recovery plan. I hope that when you see your doctor, he/she will have more empathy, so that you can talk about your anxiety issues.
Thanks I am seeing him tomorrow about my suspected diabetes and I will judge his character to see if he is a good doctor or yet another arrogant one who really does not give a damn.
Best of luck with that!
Me too, wish you the best for tomorrow!
Thanks, I dont have diabetes which should be good news although I am still peeing all night, drinking lots of water and feeling more lethargic than normal so I still think something may be wrong. well apart from my madness.
Very relieved to hear that! Did you managed to mention your anxiety issues?
I did but as usual he wasn’t really interested.Its nothing like TV medical programs where doctors care. I would have to go back again sometime probably when it gets much worse.
That’s horrible. I wish doctors would pay more attention to their patients. I went through so much crap while looking for psychiatric help so i understand where you are coming from.