Dating? As if.

Bizarrely I’ve watched a lot of dating shows on TV recently. As someone who has never even been on a date ever I am fascinated with human behaviour and how people act in this setting. The question they ask almost every show is why are you still single as if their partner has to explain themselves as if its a crime to be single for too long. Of course I imagine being in the place of some of the men and imagining what I would say and do under these circumstances(but without the TV cameras). The thing is now its too late. Way too late in fact. Its taken this long to even imagine going on dates and thinking well maybe I could do no worse then them. After all some, in fact quite a lot of men are quite stupid and ignorant and yet they all get into relationships. Every F**king one of them without exception it seems.They are just not shy. Shyness is one of the biggest barriers to relationships of all types of mental health and is totally underestimated, often ignored.

 

You see when I was in my twenties and even some of my thirties for that matter I was debilitatingly shy. You keep getting people with their shit online advice demand you are just a coward and once you force yourself to try doing this stuff you get better but that’s absolute crap. In reality debilitating shyness means you cant think of words at all . You blush until the sweat pours off your head. Any words come out as a stammer and get the reaction like you have just said you like eating your own faeces.  Despite the online assumption that dating is a two way thing I found that most girls expected to be chatted up, wooed, impressed and asked out by males and usually never even spoke first to me anyway let alone made any flirty or even nice comments. If you also have virtually no friends you never go to clubs, bars, anywhere either so where the hell do you meet people? When you have had years of this without the slightest change of course it creates a negative mindset and depression and you give up. I have found changing my personality without the slightest help from anyone to be almost impossible. I have the odd good day but almost always revert to my default position of miserable loner.No amount of clever people with their advice on you-tube can change this.