I try not to think of myself as a particularly bad person although if you are depressed or unhappy you may be treated as such anyway, especially online. How ironic that they say you must learn to love yourself when everyone treats you like a c**t .Yet using an online anxiety forum for years mainly out of habit has made me feel worse, more strange and disliked. is this classic SA behaviour , paranoia or is it simply reality? That people even on a support forum ignore or even demonise anyone they dont think of as compatible much as they did at work? However as its a social anxiety forum its possible that they are absolutely shit at making friends online anyway just like me so these feelings are greatly magnified. One thing is patently obvious is that the majority of people on the forum are much younger, both the UK and USA main social anxietyforums even have a special section for over thirties as if you are ancient otherwise. Much of the talk is youth orientated and hard left politics are very popular. Youtube videos about social justice warriors , the regressive left and the snowflake generation sum up much of the popular people and opinions and they HATE anyone who doesn’t think the same. For the record I voted Labour last election even with Ed Milliband and consider myself centre left so I’m hardly a member of the BNP.
There are certainly cliques who only speak to each other and much more importantly a level of nastiness in the background. Its so hard to get on with anyone to be honest that I have come to the conclusion that I must be much worse than I previously thought. Of three people who occasionally chatted to me online all three have not responded to my last message but why would they want to. I’m a miserable bastard with nothing to offer. Also shy people, contrary to belief are not more open minded or compassionate but are often bitter, resentful, sneering and often keen to put others down to make themselves feel better. The very behaviour it seems that made them shy and anxious in the first place. I have clearly seen this in my own family and have no doubt its common online. So if you seldom speak to other people in real life its not often any better trying to form friendships or support online if you are weird. Depression and social anxiety repel all people in all formats so staying isolated becomes unavoidable to avoid further pain and humiliation.