Thoughts on Therapy

Although a wide range of people respond well to cognitive behavioural therapy, experts point out that the type of person likely to get the most benefit is someone who:

  • Is motivated
  • Sees him or herself as able to control the events that happen around them
  • Has the capacity for introspection

 

Well I certainly dont qualify for the first two.There seems to be only two things a doctor can do for anxiety apart from ignore you. First is give you pills to calm you down if you are hysterical. Second is some kind of therapy. The most popular is CBT these days so I wanted to look up the sort of thing it entails and what they want you to do. The first problem is depression though. Although chronic social anxiety often results in depression due to a complete breakdown in a normal life regarding job, relationships and friends some CBT for anxiety seems to demand an enthusiasm and motivation to overcome your problems and as stated before I have absolutely none. I read that CBT for depression is completely different than that for anxiety so would I have to be completely cured of depression and negativity first(brainwashed?) before even looking at CBT for anxiety?

Next I read that CBT only works for about half people for depression and three quarters for anxiety which doesn’t sound too promising especially as I am in that cynical,negative mindset rather than the “Carpe diem” category. Its probably worse at my age and for those who are not optimistic. Is that my normal negative thinking or simply the truth? You see getting a job after many years of long term unemployment at my age is much harder for even a normal person so good reason to be depressed then. I also have a problem doing any physical work as I have joint problems which meant I was once taking 20 painkillers a day and after seeing  the doctor several times he refused to treat me any further, seemed to think I was making the whole thing up and I had to change jobs at the time in the company I worked for.  A relationship is just as bad as I have chronic intimacy issues, didn’t manage to ejaculate until I was 27 and my brain still thinks its about 27 anyway and only fancies females roughly the same age and I find almost all people my own age very ugly.  So the best I could hope for is some kind of job I could manage in to stop myself becoming homeless and maybe the odd friend to do stuff with if I am lucky. Living life to the full my arse! Hanging on by a thread more like.

The problem with CBT for depression on the NHS is that it might be  group therapy to save money like it was with my friend who was put in a group of people who had many different anxiety problems and having SA as well I will clam up and not speak in front of any group of strangers or talk about personal problems making such treatment absolutely useless. Also I have heard in any group CBT you get the peer pressure effect where people who think they are doing loads actually get angry at those who they dont think are doing enough as if they then have no right to get better so I would probably attack them. I mean literally. I cant stand those sort of people.

It may be depression but every time I read about CBT treatment it seems so absolutely useless and hopeless to me that I want to kill myself again. Its like they really have no idea and try any old crap and then blame you for not trying hard enough. I dont like the idea of being told to do homework and tasks each week and having to discuss them especially if in a group. Go and ask strangers in the street for directions! Go and sit in a cafe alone and enjoy it! Bollocks.I still think that many so called irrational thoughts are actually quite true and most normal people are incredibly judgemental. Nevertheless I will try and find more information online on what it actually entails and what people who did it really thought. Not just the positive ones though, they just annoy me.

 

 

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Author: klodo

I am male,English and have had social anxiety since I started school at 5 years of age. I like photography, walking, wildlife, history and moaning.........CONSTANTLY! Oh you must stop being so negative! Shut up!

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