I just watched a video by someone with SA who goes around asking strangers questions, not just normal directions or what time is it but things like can you tell me the way to the moon? Have you seen my cat and then he takes out a silly drawing. It sounds weird but I suppose its a stage beyond normal talk and may be of help in breaking down barriers, making people laugh and putting yourself in awkward situations in order to get used to them. I think its very brave actually especially as his accent is eastern European and not as easily understood. You would have to be careful what type of people you choose to talk to though as some may be violent.
The problem is I am not even at any stage near that which is why I think depression is overriding all other emotions. I think after 10 years of near isolation and very little talk with strangers even the simple things are difficult and becoming worse. I have difficulty even speaking to supermarket staff and am sure I come across as a miserable bastard. I know I find it hard to impossible to smile, make eye contact, keep a normal looking face. I still have trouble actually speaking in that my voice becomes weak and I physically find it hard to get words out sometimes even when I force myself.
But above all I feel so incredibly unhappy, irritable and hopeless that I dont have the slightest motivation to try new things and cant stop thinking its too late now. Every single thing I read on self help sites looks absolutely useless to me. They all assume so much which is not possible. I have very little fight left and am more tired and bored each day. The pull of eternity seems more and more appealing as time passes. I did think once there may be a way but all possible solutions turn out to be dead ends or lies.