True Colours

And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small.

I had quite a good day and went back to the cemetery again as the sun came out for a while. I tried to be more mindful and not dwell on the negative aspects of life and quite enjoyed walking around an almost deserted cemetery for a couple of hours. Controlling my moods must be possible and yet after so many years I still have so many times when I go haywire and anxiety tales control. Peaceful days are still quite rare.

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Author: klodo

I am male,English and have had social anxiety since I started school at 5 years of age. I like photography, walking, wildlife, history and moaning.........CONSTANTLY! Oh you must stop being so negative! Shut up!

7 thoughts on “True Colours”

  1. I’m glad to hear that the clouds lifted a bit and allowed you to experience a better day. It takes a lot of energy to keep up the fight and it seems you’ve been rewarded for still having the deep rooted desire to feel more positive and live a more ‘complete’ life. The good days remind us that it’s actually possible to feel reasonably in control of the world. We just got to stay strong inside and keep the BIG suicidal thoughts at bay and more of these positive days will be had.
    We’re on the journey with you.

    1. Thanks although the real fight of getting a job to stop me being homeless is yet to begin. Thinking of this is when the desperation returns.

  2. It’s finding someone in your area, maybe part of an anxiety support group, who is a link between you and a job or at least has useful guidance. The good thing about an email is you can explain your situation clearly to someone. Just a matter of finding that someone who understands the predicament of a sociophobe and can provide guidance in getting suitable work. It’s maybe worth searching for a local support group and firing off an email, then see what the response is. Keep going, put out some feelers and soon we’ll get a breakthrough.
    (sorry if this posted more than once)

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