I am trying to go out at least once a week. On Monday I went to a large stately home in Derbyshire as they have a Christmas market. As it takes two trains and a bus to get here my anxiety was high and as a crazy person I had the times of every train and bus for 2 hours either way written on a piece of paper, just in case. Once when I just left without any checking as I thought it would stop me getting so anxious I got on the wrong bus and ended up somewhere else entirely!
The thing is this is not new, I have been here 15 times before and also to every town nearby many times. It shows how my anxiety had gotten so much worse in the last 5 years that I had only been on major day trips about twice a year whereas it used to be 2-3 times per month.I have never gotten used to it due to doing it more. I also dont speak to people when I am out so my anxiety never has gotten better.Sometimes I ask the bus driver a question or some people might ask me for directions but this idea that a socially anxious nut case goes out regularly and before you know it they are chatting to people left right and centre is utter crap.
Its like the utter shit advice you hear in other places. Like walking a dog is a good place to make friends and even meet women. I walked my family dogs from age 15-32 and probably only spoke to about 2 people a year. I dont even remember seeing any attractive girls and of course the idea that I would make friends with them or even fall in love is plainly ridiculous as it would have meant me chatting them up as I have never ever come across any female ever who chatted me up. Mind you according to social anxiety forums women are just as likely to make the first move. More delusional fantasy?
Some more advice I have been given for work was to hang around yes hang around companies I am interested in working for and somehow making myself known to them. WTF did this even mean? Hang around the entrance and chat up the receptionists? Volunteer to get the tea or clean the toilets. Obviously I would need to have no social anxiety even if such a thing was possible. Its similar to someone on a self help website for anxiety saying to go and sit in the bar and before you know it you would be chatting to the bar man and making friends whereas in reality I would be the weird quiet man sitting alone who everyone made fun of. That is exactly what I am afraid would happen if I forced myself to go and sit in a cafe alone every week. Of course the reaction to this is I am just making excuses and then when it happens as I describe you are told to just keep doing it and assume it gets better.It doesn’t.