Here come The Hills of Time.

From Psychology Today;

The good news is that shy people eventually achieve everything that everyone else does — they date, marry, have children. The bad news is, it takes them a little longer.

No they dont, some do, even the majority but many of them live incredibly sad lonely lives full of pain,shame, embarrassment and many never recover and even commit suicide. They probably have not taken part in your survey or are dead already.Even CBT only works for 75% of people with social anxiety so for a quarter they are still in the same boat. What they ignore yet again is that humans as in all animals obey the laws of evolution and an older long term unemployed virgin is much more likely to be rejected by other normal people and by employers even if they were totally cured of shyness overnight so it would still be much harder to achieve any level of success than an average person and with less time to do it in. Continuous rejection and failure creates more negativity and avoidance so of course you go into all situations negatively. Just being told to be positive and humourous does not work. It also totally ignores all physical manifestation of shyness like blushing and stuttering which people do notice and often speak about.

Stop turning down party invitations and start inviting people to visit you at home. Plan outings with close friends or acquaintances you’d like to know better.

Don’t be ridiculous.very shy people are never invited to parties no one likes them. I was seen as a freak by many people at work. I dont think this is over reacting in the slightest. People hate weirdos,especially women. All females have a creepy weirdo alert button in their brain. Unfortunately very shy men fall into the same category as the pervert and the mass murderer. Hence men with great conversational skills put women at ease and make them feel better so they are much more likely to go out with them.Its also why men evolved to chase women and chat them up, to gain their trust. Women generally dont do this or if they make the first move its saying hello and then waiting for the man to chat them up and ask them out. I was therefore never even invited to any party in 20 years of work and if I had of gone I would have stood around in a corner looking awkward, probably blushing and people would have took the piss out me making my anxiety even worse and ensuring I became more avoidant. You feel hated because everyone ignores you. When I have occasionally felt brave and initiated things I was rejected as I was at work and still am on the social anxiety forum. That’s because as someone with severe anxiety and no witty banter I am already classified as a loser and rejected. In fact most women reject any man who is unemployed and put them in the same bracket as ex cons so bollocks to people saying that women are not  as judgemental as men. Of course they are,just in different ways. The advice as usual is so far from reality as to assume the clever scientists have never studied shyness or social anxiety at all. If you did go to a party you are expected to make an effort, speak in the right voice, say the right things and people rebuke you for being awkward and then ignore you. You then dont invited again to any party.

85%( of shy people questioned) are willing to work seriously at overcoming shyness.

You see I am not at all any more which is why I pretty much know that CBT is pointless. Maybe I am too old but I have no intentions of doing embarrassing social things in order to gain exposure in the vague hope of recovery. Hard work my arse, its just more humiliation and embarrassment. They may as well tell me to run round the streets naked and then tar and feather me as ask me to do CBT.Then they can just blame me for not doing things and their therapy remains blameless. As soon as I discovered how awful CBT really therapy is I pretty much knew that there was absolutely no help.  I think that’s why my mood has dropped dramatically in the last few weeks. All escape routes have been cut off. I see no hope any more and no one has given me any. Except religion, no wonder I spoke with the Jehovah witnesses so long on Friday. I will try and go to the cathedral this week and pray for an end of this in whatever way is possible.

Come and behold him,

Born the King of angels;

O come, let us adore him,

O come, let us adore him,

O Come, let us adore him, Christ the Lord.

 

 

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