I wonder how you get motivated when you are lying in the gutter. I just don’t understand. A lot of life is shit and loads of people have jobs they hate which causes them never ending stress and anxiety so the concept that everyone can have a great rewarding career is not true for most people and of course virtually impossible past a certain age. It would also require huge motivation. When you see many of these self help you tube videos and read the books they often have this HUGE motivation quality and almost try to bully it into you, even seem to ridicule you as if you don’t deserve to succeed if you have not got it. You need to do lots of HARD WORK they never tire from telling you. IT’S NOT EASY! Great, if it’s that hard you have put me off trying at all and how to you get this motivation in the first place when you are one step away from giving up? When you have spent years in misery and contemplating death since school days, almost yearning for it at times, when nothing particularly good has happened for that long and when almost every single thing has failed it rips your confidence to pieces. If I go and try something tomorrow with real life humans I will almost certainly fail. Yes I know it’s negative but not catastrophizing at all as many years of experience and reality backs me up. If you are socially awkward and also miserable and very negative then people will dislike you and avoid you thus increasing feelings of worthlessness and actually increasing avoidance. So your motivation gets worse.The glimmer of hope keeps getting further away.