Black Wednesday

Oh dear, just looking at social anxiety self help sites for a brief time has sent me spiralling back into waves of intense misery and depression again. Thats why I stay avoidant.  Even thinking about doing any CBT or exposure therapy makes me realise its all completely pointless and that death is probably more sensible. Mind you its just as bad using the UK social anxiety forum. It only makes me feel disliked thus increasing my anxiety and now I feel like most of the people on there are the enemy as I have only made one friend ever in over 10 years. Perhaps I am just incompatible with all human life OR perhaps some other people with social anxiety are complete arseholes but like to think of themselves as wonderful to boost their fragile egos.

Contrary to belief people with social anxiety are not better or nicer or even more understanding than ordinary people. If using the forum is anything to go by some of the biggest wankers you could imagine use that place and often like to put others down to feel better about themselves. I have often seen this behaviour in that anxious people often had parents or other people belittle them while growing up and then they just copy this behaviour into adulthood and do it to others.But if using forums only increase my social anxiety and feelings of being disliked then doesn’t that prove the advice is all wrong and that self help forums are shit. Why do they assume you learn and get better? If anything its more like facebook in that people are often more prone to insult you from the safety of their bedroom and would probably dare not even speak up in real life.I wonder if I can buy anxiety meds legally off the internet like I did for insomnia.

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2 thoughts on “Black Wednesday

  1. I hate looking at social anxiety forums, and depression forums, even though I moderate a few for psych-forums. They depress the hell out of me, both of them, partly because of the same thing you experience, the sense of “I will never be able to get my shit together” and partly because I feel like a lot of other people post similar things to that. It just fuels bad thoughts. Fuel to the fire. Ugh.

  2. I also think some forums are far too cliquey which is not good for people with low self esteem.If you dont think the same as them especially with politics then you are treated like a pariah.

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