Pain

A lot of things are said to persuade people not to kill themselves. Fear of a Christian God who sends you to hell to burn you for all eternity. Such Compassion! Fear of non existence, making people feel guilty for leaving others behind if they indeed do have family or someone here who is then alone. The thing is, everyone’s circumstances are different. Sure, many problems that seem life destroying now can alter and in the future it may all be very different such as a relationship breakup. But then again lots of things dont. Lots of things get worse and worse and never get better. The help for mental health is absolutely appalling. Homelessness is going up. People are almost all judgemental and dont pick losers for relationships or for jobs so once you are in the gutter you are not allowed to get out again even if you try. For me its comes down to the amount of pain and the length of time you have to endure it. Like those people burning alive at the top of the twin towers back in 2001. If the pain becomes too much then anything is preferable.

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Author: klodo

I am male,English and have had social anxiety since I started school at 5 years of age. I like photography, walking, wildlife, history and moaning.........CONSTANTLY! Oh you must stop being so negative! Shut up!

6 thoughts on “Pain”

  1. Though I am not religious, I have indeed stopped myself in the past from becoming serious about planning to kill myself because I always ended up feeling guilty about the people I would be leaving behind. Also, I have a low tolerance for pain so I probably wouldn’t be able to do “it” even if I had no family or friends.

    1. Yes, its much harder than some people make it out to be. I always say its being a coward that’s kept be alive! If you have a fear of death then it takes real bravery. There was a girl I sometimes spoke to on an anxiety forum who jumped off a tall building a few years ago. It still moves me especially as she was a friend on Facebook and I still see her family and close friends leave messages every year on the anniversary of her death. I have never made an attempt but if I become homeless one day I might change my mind.

      1. I too knew someone who took her own life. She was only someone I spoke to online and through letters when we were snail mail pals. I got very close to her and there was a time she was like my life link to the outside world during a very deep depression I was going through. She got more distant with me in later years. I think she was going through stuff, and I feel bad thinking about how I missed the signs that something’s was off for a while in her life. The last message she sent me was a very long one where she brought up past things between us and talked about bettering herself for her own future. Weeks later I’m messaged by her cousin that she killed herself. I had seen the last Facebook status she posted that day too and didn’t even think much of it bc it was a very subtle thing with song lyrics.

      2. That must have been awful for you.There is probably no way at all you could possibly have known what she was going to do. Sometimes things just flip in somebodies minds and they just decide to go.

      3. Yeah, I couldn’t have known, but I sometimes feel bad thinking about if I’ve could’ve done more or talked to her more about what was going on in her life.

      4. Yes, I think its only natural to feel somewhat guilty and if you could have done something different. However unless you are with that person every day and knew exactly how they were feeling then there is no way of knowing. I’m sure you were a good friend to her online and offered her some comfort over the years and of course you have had your own problems to deal with.

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