I am always reading about the nightmare of going to parties for socially anxious people. Its one of the biggest fears on hierarchy lists in fact.What to wear, what to say, will I hide in the toilets all night. etc. The thing is I went to a party when I was 9 and that was only because my mum was friends with someone else. Thats it. I have never turned down a party invitation ever because I have never been invited to a party ever! I worked in a job for 20 years so I did come across other humans but as the shy weirdo nobody invited me. So obviously the SA self help advice about things being all in your head and not being liked and overreacting are yet more lies. If you are a mad loner then nobody wants anything to do with you so you stay a mad loner.
Of course I would have turned down any invitation anyway but that’s not the point! Some of the self help advice says not to turn down any invitation to anything and yet also says you should do graduated exposures so you start easy and it gets harder. Since making small talk with strangers and especially girls would have been about 100 out of 10 for avoidance if not outright terror and would have invoked blush factor 10 along with me stuttering and sweating like a pig then why on earth would going to parties as a gibbering wreck and then having to go back to work with some of the same people taking about my reactions behind my back and so making me more paranoid have made my social anxiety any better?
So many people say you are just making excuses for not going to social things like this and then when you do force yourself and still act a complete nervous wreck they still seem shocked or ridicule you. Conclusion, they lie so, so often. I think this is why recovery for socially anxiety is so hard. There are just so many contradictions and bad advice.