A Sunny Friday Afternoon Indoors

I took another sleeping tablet last night and did not get up until about midday. I still feel groggy and have  been having head pains and feelings of slight unreality again as if I am about to have another dizzy experience at any time. I can see my isolation getting worse in many ways but I honestly dont know how to deal with depression and hopelessness. If I go to the doctor then they might give me some meds. However as said before there is a 18 month to two year waiting list for therapy on the NHS and it mostly tries to get you to just go out and do stuff again assuming that you did stuff before. See above video. Immediate solutions as mentioned by Katie above have no long term benefits without a solution to other problems such as chromic social anxiety and long term unemployment. Having social anxiety means I never went out and did anything in the first place anyway so I have no hobbies to return to.

It unusually warm and sunny on the UK today for May and its over 80 degrees and yet the idea of walking the streets of my home city are about as appealing as being kicked in the nuts. I dont like getting hot and sweaty and everywhere is crowded. So the above advise is shit and does not work. Just getting out and promising it will make you feel better is a complete lie. It would require a complete overhaul of my entire life and making friends with good like minded people. Yet of course if there is something wrong with you the vast array of normal people dont want anything to do with you anyway. I have an idea than most therapists would give up on me and tell me to go away as its too late now.


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