After several days of waking up early I relented and took a sleeping tablet again. It worked as I did not get up until 10.30 but of course it made me feel groggy all day. I wonder if they also affect my moods as I have quite an overwhelming urge to self harm again although that could be as I was looking at self help sites on social anxiety and they always make me far more depressed as they never ever offer any hope or way out without a long painful struggle with humiliation guaranteed. YOU MUST DO THE HARD WORK OR YOU ARE A COWARDLY CISSY WHO DESERVES TO SUFFER! I could do hard work after 20 years in the same manual job easily. However hard work is not acting shy and being ridiculed endlessly in the hope of getting used to it. Did people who were beaten ever get used to it?
I come across things all the while. Like the advice of making conversation with a co worker on Monday and telling them about what you did at the weekend. I spent virtually every weekend for 20 years watching TV and maybe later doing some gardening. I never did anything or went anywhere as very shy people dont have any friends or do anything. There’s lots of advice like this and even though you have social anxiety and its so bad you have gone for therapy still assumes you have friends and go out and do things like normals all the time.Makes me think again if therapy is really for people with moderate shyness and anxiety and that they still have no idea of what very shy is really like.
However I really want to find out how they treat social anxiety and depression combined which I think is quite common. If they make no account for a depressed state of mind although I have no motivation and still expect you to do normal CBT exposures for social anxiety then I think they really have no idea and no one has even bothered to do any research into it yet. Considering some British doctors have not even heard of social anxiety and have to look it up on Wikipedia then nothing would surprise me.