Comorbid anxiety with depression

“Comorbid anxiety with depression predicts poor outcomes with a higher percentage of treatment resistance than either disorder occurring alone. Overlap of anxiety and depression complicates diagnosis and renders treatment challenging.”

Although depression is a common secondary disorder for people with long term social anxiety I am always surprised that in the vast array of online help I have read that depression is almost always ignored as if completely unimportant. I was first thinking of suicide in my teenage years and have had feelings of chronic misery and hopelessness regularly ever since so some kind of depression has always been there although it was mostly melancholy due to being always alone and society labelling me as a freak. Hardly surprising considering my lack of sex,relationships, friends and no job although i did do 20 years in a manual job I mostly hated which did not help my mental health or get me to be more social. My 20 years of work equates to about 4800 days or 38,000 hours and still it did nothing to rid me of anxiety. Must be all those avoidant strategies and safety behaviours I used otherwise known as being shy! The cure to shyness- stop being shy!

So expecting me to approach strangers and make pleasant conversation tomorrow is about as likely as expecting the neighbours pet Labrador to do so although obviously most dogs get on far better with strangers than me. Maybe I should become hairier and start licking people. Lack of motivation is hardly surprising as age really does matter and older people are much less likely to succeed as most people are ageist and opportunities are much less. They also seem to think that depression is only temporary because of a sudden lifestyle change or event and that you can go back to where you where before which was relatively happy if you just start doing stuff you used to enjoy. Of course I have never been relatively happy for long even as a child and never really did anything or went anywhere anyway as I had no friends. I cant seem to do anything while feeling this low and I feel this low as I see absolutely no hope for the future. As a result I am becoming even more avoidant and leaving the house far less than before.

I think I always knew it would end up this way even way back at school as the sad lonely boy who never spoke much in class although due to everyone being more optimistic and assuming I would just grow out of it I still imagined something good would just sort of happen. It didn’t. Then they blame you for not doing enough which only increases your guilt which makes you want to die even more.  At the same time they say you must learn to love yourself.

 

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