I have decided to become more spiritual and embrace nature and midfullness again. Well its become obvious that in the last few weeks that when I looked into CBT therapy and help for social anxiety and depression that it has only made me much worse as all the advice seems appalling and only makes me more depressed. Yes I know it may only be a coping mechanism along with alcohol but so is religion and plenty of people do that. Anyway its the only thing that has shown the any signs of working over the last two years.
Even today when looking at some motivational guy on word-press he spurts constant bullshit while claiming to help people. Stay away from negative people! Depressed people are negative you dumb shit! Shall I stay away from myself to make me feel better? Does being depressed make these people evil and thus worthy of suffering?
Another piece of meaningless advice from him; Reflect on your progress! “Take a moment to reflect on the obstacles you have already accomplished. Each one of these achievements tells you one thing. You are a winner.” And of course this bollocks gets plenty of likes because as mentioned previously all positivity is applauded and all negativity derided as well deserved. So he doesn’t actually help people in need of help then. Only those who ca be easily brainwashed and manipulated.In fact half the posts he makes seems to be slagging people off with personality problems. Then in other posts he has the nerve to talk about self compassion. False prophet indeed. Show me the money comes to mind.
Embracing the attitude of not giving a F**K what other people think of me, walking in nature and meditating will resume in the hope of not feeling like killing myself every week and self harming. Perhaps this is nothing more than avoidance and evading my problems such as looking for work but it may at least give me some respite before the great eternity of something or nothing which is comes to everyone at some point. Tomorrow I will try and walk to and sit in a wood and pray.