So I try and go out every single day even if for just a short walk now. Exercise is good for mental health and all that. I now even try to look people in the eye as I pass. Making eye contact is essential and a first step to communicating and feeling more confident according to many self help sites and books on social anxiety. Actually its still very hard. In fact its getting harder. As I often get people look back at me quite negatively and aggressively then it just reaffirms that people hate being stared at in cities.( or hate me!) Perhaps I look like a serial killer myself and dont know it.
Attractive woman look at me the worst as if I am an old pervert and they are far too good for me which once again just confirms all negativity. Perhaps I need instructions on who I am allowed to look at without being arrested or thought of as a pervert. Therefore I am actually getting more paranoid and thinking that I was right all along. If I have to feel comfortable with this before I actually try talking to strangers I may be doing this for a very long time and still no better. I wonder if these therapists actually live in the real world. they give all this advice as if its all obvious and never give details even though they are speaking to socially inept people and those with mental illness, paranoia and depression. A bit like saying just make small talk and assuming you know 99% of what to say anyway.