The thing is I know my misery and depression annoy or repel people. I also have paranoia increasing again (and as I type this my left eye starts twitching uncontrollably!) In fact I felt very edgy going for my daily walk again yesterday and thought someone was smirking at me the day before. Rather than totally irrational this stems from me walking funny due to a bad hip and even getting punched in the face for it once by a local yobbo. I also have deep irritability and an inside raging anger. Even little things irritate me like this shit computer which takes 30 seconds to do anything once you press a button(well it is still windows XP!) So I dislike myself a lot of the time. I have also read these emotions are common for people with anxiety/depression.
And yet……….. the advice, the constant advice it seems is to learn to love yourself (how? drugs?) and then go to any and every social occasion. BUT if I am miserable and irritable even ignoring my chronic social anxiety I will almost certainly be repelled and disliked and avoided which will make me MORE paranoid, MORE depressed, MORE avoidant.
This is just so incredibly obvious and also logical that it appears to me that the people offering the advice are either liars or delusional, perhaps both.The common theme is to get angry with you as if its your fault for behaving this way and totally ignore the depression or anxiety in any way whatsoever.They demand positivity to socialise, they demand positivity if you start therapy without ever telling you how to get it in the first place.
Thats why so many people dont talk about mental health and hide it as they get attacked and blamed for it when they do. There is so much pressure to be positive that nobody dares speak for fear of being attacked and blamed. Its probably why so many blogs are from people who are already in the positive mindset or have recovered. For those still drowning in the depths of depression and anxiety the help is basically telling them its all their own fault for not swimming hard enough.