While looking on the American social anxiety forum I came across this link on a 58 year old virgin. Yes, someone even older than me! Its always implied in our society that 99.9999 of people have f**ked by the age of 18 and that all virgins are freaks and should be ashamed as if they have committed some crime. However, in reality there must be lots of people who have never done it, asexuals and people with mental and physical disabilities as well as the very mad like me.
Here are some excerpts from the link;
So, when you say you’re a virgin, how do you define that? Have you engaged in any sexual acts at all?
“Nothing whatsoever, with anybody. I gave a girl a kiss on the lips when I was a kid, but it wasn’t a make-out or anything. That was before adolescence; those hormones and desires hadn’t kicked in. “
The last, and the only, time you kissed a girl was nearly 50 years ago.
ME;Well thats one more than me. I have never kissed anything except my dogs.
Have you ever seen a woman naked, in real life?
“When I was in my 20s, I lived by a lake and I saw some skinny dippers, but I didn’t talk to them because I didn’t think they’d be interested in me.”
ME;No, never. I had to look on the internet to see what female private parts even looked like. Argh, they are as ugly as men’s parts!
When you were younger, did you fantasize about having sex a lot?
ME;Not me, almost never. I had only two erections before the age of 27. Ah there’s your problem.
How often did you masturbate?
“Every second or third day. Sometimes I would go a week or a week and a half. I never had any problems reaching an orgasm.”
ME; Before 27 almost never, after well quite a lot.
Did you date or have girlfriends?
“I’ve only ever been on one date and I have never been in a relationship.”
ME; No, never. In fact in 20 years of work I barely spoke to a female in a friendly way and although I had some male friends I never went to clubs or bars or anywhere as I was too ashamed of my shyness.
Do you think it’s harder trying to lose your virginity if you’re a man because you have to initiate?
“I think so. Women either think I’m going too slow or too fast and I can’t seem to find an in between.”
Obviously. Women barely even speak to a man first anywhere unless they already know him and trust him. Then if he acts shy she sees it as a rejection and runs a mile. If a women acts shy the guy usually carries on chatting her up.
What happens when you try to talk to women?
“My mind just goes blank. There’s nothing I can think to say.”
ME; Yes me too I used to do that and also blush and stammer and sweat uncontrollably. Feel the fear and do it anyway didn’t work as women don’t like people who make them feel uncomfortable. VERY SHY MEN make almost all women feel VERY uncomfortable. I wasn’t sweet or cute. Girls didn’y like me. This is the HUGE difference in social anxiety in regards gender differences. Men and women do not act the same way at all when it comes to flirting. In fact I felt hated and thats why I avoided girls even more.
What’s the hardest part about being a 58-year-old-virgin?
“Laying alone at night, falling asleep and then getting up in the morning and remembering you’re alone. It’s like waking up to the same nightmare every single day.”
That is true, In fact I often wake up and wish I had died in the night. However its also looking on Facebook and seeing even the complete assholes I used to work with all married with kids now. It seems it does not matter what you look like and what your personality is like almost everybody finds someone. So social anxiety is much more serious that people think and has also wrecked my career and even meant I quit college. Then the final kick in the nuts is that you are always the one blamed for not doing enough even though its not your fault, then when you do try and act shy people treat you like a piece of scum.
In fact I wonder how many suicides which are attributed to depression and also deaths from alcohol and drug abuse and even being made homeless have social anxiety as the route cause. Probably quite a lot.